Trina Ukaj
It’s been almost a week since the end of results day. We are closing in on the time for people to decide what they want to do post-A-Levels. For most, people go off to further their studies by going to university. In this blog, I’ll be touching on my personal experience of moving out for university and giving advice for those going into halls this September.
When I accepted my offer to attend university 200 miles away (University of Manchester) it wasn’t just a big step for me; it was a huge shift for my entire family. I am a first-generation daughter to Kosovar Albanian parents. The whole reason they came to England was so my siblings and I could have a better life. It was a very new thing for me to move out for university. I mean, the first thing my mom did was Google if it was possible to commute. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. Having only visited the city once, both my mom and I were overwhelmed. I’m not even being dramatic; I’m the type of girl who gets lost at Euston station, so me going up north and being so far away was not something that I or my family expected from me.
Growing up, my mom instilled in me certain routines that were as much about safety as they were about maintaining a connection. Every morning before school, I had to text her once I arrived safely. After school, I’d call to let her know I was on my way home with my ETA, and what mode of transport it was coming back with. This routine continued well into Year 12 during sixth form. It may sound like a lot, but she genuinely cares for me and what I do. I could do whatever I wanted, as long as I was transparent with her. Going out with friends is another example: she will say yes, she just wants to know who I am with, where we are going, and a promise to be home by a reasonable time.
These routines influenced my experiences of moving out. Naturally, my parents were there to help me move in on my first day, but from that moment they left me alone, I made sure to update my mom throughout my day. I called my dad too before work and would update our family group chat. The transition from living with my family, to not, was strange - as suddenly I had my own room, my own space. That freedom, while exciting, also left me feeling a bit homesick.
To cope with the change, I threw myself into university life. I joined numerous societies (I dropped a few after January but met friends I moved in with the year after!) and continued running as a way to keep myself busy. One of the most comforting things I did was learn how to cook traditional Albanian meals (shout out to Kuzhina e Lules for keeping me connected to my roots through food!). These meals weren't just about eating; they were about maintaining a piece of home, a piece of my identity, even when I was far away. Plus, bragging rights to say I made complicated dishes (burek) by myself.
As nice as it was to have my own room and routines and gain all these new experiences, I made it a point to visit home every month. It was not just for me - I knew my parents would freak out if I didn’t. These visits became a lifeline, a way to reconnect with my family and recharge before diving back into university life.
I found it so fun decorating my room throughout the year. Every few months, I would stick up new posters and move around furniture. Interior design is definitely my plan B if university fails.
Moving out wasn’t just a physical relocation; it was an emotional and mental journey too. The transition from living under my mum’s watchful eye to navigating life on my own was both challenging and rewarding. Through it all, I’ve realised that the routines my mum instilled in me weren’t just about safety—they were about love, connection, and resilience.
Now, as I enter the fourth year of my five-year course, I’ve gotten used to the rhythm of moving into new houses with my friends. I’ve been doing it alone for almost two years now. But even as I pack up my life and haul it to the next place, I know I’m never really alone. Behind the scenes, my mum and dad are still there. With my mum calling to remind me not to carry anything too heavy, to tip the Uber driver who’s patiently dealt with my endless boxes, and to take care of myself in ways only she would think of. My dad’s reassurance and reminder that I could call him the night before and that he would be more than happy to drive up to help me move out.
To anyone leaving the nest in September, I have the utmost faith in you! It can be stressful, especially living with strangers, but this is why you have ALSA as your older sibling! You can know what to expect and get advice from anyone on the team. As promised, here are some of my tips for the transition into university living.
5 TOP TIPS
Don’t you dare clean up after your flatmates
I don’t care how messy it is; my mum taught me early on to clean up after yourself and not to clean up after your flatmates, no matter how messy they are. You are not their parents; you will simply enable their behaviour if you clean up their mess.
Push yourself out of your comfort zone but not too much
The reason I say this is so that you’re not doing something you don’t want to do. As someone who is not into the clubbing or drinking scene, I didn’t force myself to go out during freshers to places I knew I wouldn’t be comfortable in. I have spoken to a few people who did and they regretted it, and I’m confident I made the right choice. This is definitely my experience. I am not saying lock yourself in; everyone wants to make friends, but not everyone wants to drink and club. There are plenty of other ways to make friends. Join that social event alone, go sit next to someone in your lecture, and strike up a conversation! People tend to regret things they haven’t done more than the things they have.
Budget accordingly
Okay, this one goes out to the overspenders. When that first maintenance loan drops, you may feel rich, but by the end of the term, I don’t want to see anyone having pot noodles. Put everything into your savings and every month send out a fair amount to your main spending account. You most definitely deserve to treat yourself, but you do not need to be eating out every week. For me personally, I had the app Emma which helped keep me humble (it notified me of my expenses daily).
Storage companies
It may be a bit early for me to be saying this, but throughout your course, you may have tenancies that do not overlap, so you’ll need to figure out where to leave your belongings. After my second year of university, I started moving stuff into my new houses using storage companies and Ubers. If you search up “Student Storage” along with your city, you will find lots of options to help you leave your stuff so that you can have a stress-free summer.
Bulk buy everything at the start
Buy a big pack of everything! It will work out cheaper to get the big seasonings and larger washing pods. It works out cheaper throughout your stay and saves you the headache of realising you need to go to the shops because the 1-pint milk you got has been drunk.
Bonus tip: Train tickets are expensive! Download Trainpal—this app splits your tickets and finds indirect routes for so much cheaper. It saved me so much; I definitely recommend!
For any further information on my degree, moving out, or anything else I mentioned in the blog, please feel free to reach out on LinkedIn!
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