Like most – if not all – second-generation Albanian immigrants, I have always strived to be stellar in my academic career. In my individual case, this has been heightened even further by my intense desire to make two immigrant parents to an only child proud. Most importantly, I have always been desperate to make their sacrifices worth it. Despite my struggles with imposter syndrome, they always had no doubt about me and my abilities. This was also the case when it came down to receiving my dream offer of studying law at LSE, and needing to meet the conditions of an A*AA offer on results day.
During Year 13, the UCAS process and receiving decisions did not go quite as smoothly as I, and others, would have expected for myself. Two conditional offers from SOAS and QMUL were followed by two rejections from KCL and UCL – which are even more competitive than the former universities. This made me lose all hope for LSE, but on 20th April 2023, I did receive the offer. Although both my parents and I were ecstatic, exams were looming and we were all well aware that the offer was useless if I could not get the grades that I needed to secure my spot at LSE.
17th August 2023: a day that I genuinely will never forget. After a strenuous and challenging exam season, my imposter syndrome had me convinced that I was going to achieve the lowest grades that I ever had and that I would disappoint my family. To my surprise, I opened my results letter to see that I had obtained A*AB in the academic year with the highest grade boundaries ever. Whilst this should have been a celebratory moment for me, any hint of pride was crushed before it could begin by the fact that I had received an email from UCAS beforehand saying that I had gotten into my insurance choice, and not LSE. As you can tell by my achieved grades compared to the conditional offer I held, I had only marginally missed my dream offer.
I could go on and on about that day – it was, literally, my worst nightmare turned into reality. But now, it was time to deal the situation that I was in. Was I going to settle for a university that I could not see myself in, or was I going to take a gap year? It took me a really long time to make my final decision, only withdrawing from SOAS at the end of September. Whilst I did not want to go to SOAS, as I felt like I would not be able to flourish there, the prospect of a gap year seemed quite terrifying at the time. This was because it was not a planned one and, therefore, was full of uncertainty. However, I took the advice that my parents gave me, decided to follow my heart, and took the risk of ‘losing a year to reapply’ - hoping that I would get into at least one of my two favourite universities.
You may notice I put that in inverted commas, and that was because I really want to highlight how the way I viewed taking on a gap year has completely shifted over the course of this year. What I thought was a risk taken just to try and achieve a singular goal, has turned out to be the best decision I have ever made. I got to relax the first 2-3 months of my gap year, then I secured myself an internship through a personal contact. I have attended a few work experience days at some of the UK’s top law firms (Linklaters, Mischon de Reya, BDB Pitmans), continued working part-time at my family’s business, travelled back home to Albania to see my grandparents and started volunteering for ALSA. Furthermore, I was able to invest some time into my passion for beauty and fashion by completing a lash extension course during my break from education. Soon, I will be going back to my sixth form to present about why the students should take A Level French, having been invited to do so as one of the only two students who achieved an A* in the subject at the school. Whilst this journey and my gap year have been a rocky road and not all successes, it has given me the opportunity to try and tap into a range of new things. Above all, it has taught me the invaluable life lesson that you need to really fight for something if you truly want it. It has taught me patience, something that I now know I needed to learn better.
So, for those of you who are considering a gap year, or who end up in a similar position as I was in – DO THE GAP YEAR! In the grand scheme of things, being one year behind really is not going to affect you at all. Everyone has to accept and follow their own path, and not try to force themselves into everyone else’s. I am a firm believer in gap years being the best thing you can do for yourself – it will open a plethora of doors for you, in one way or another. It is easier said than done, but take the risk of launching yourself into uncertainty and do it!
By Sindy Elezkurtaj
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